Boy, is that me these days. Impatient.
I'm four weeks into a thirteen week program to improve my physical health. Last week was a total wash, I almost completely gave up last week. And, while it's only Tuesday, I'm trying my hardest not to be derailed by frustration and impatience.
I've begun to believe and subscribe to a very different kind of perspective on health and exercise. I think it's the right one, personally, but it's kind of like the gospel, simple but exhaustive and demanding. And the results aren't terribly visible ones. In fact, what you notice all the time is how far you have to go and a lot of self-consciousness because you are trying to become aware of all sorts of body habits that are problem but second nature so you can change them. Changing your nature, now that's a rough road, right? And I'm so darn impatient about it! I know how to lose a "quick" ten pounds. But I no longer believe that is a safe or healthy way to do it. And yet, I want to do it because I want results. And part of me doesn't even want to do the things I know ARE healthy because then I'll just be faced with my own failure again.
And it occurred to me today that this isn't a problem I can't take to the Lord...this is important enough to Him and me to bring Him in on it. But, then, aren't all our problems? Why are we so slow to ask for help?
I think of my kiddos, 3 years old and 17 months. They get frustrated with something. They cry or stomp or wail or flail their arms. I come in and remind them to, instead of getting frustrated, just communicate their difficulty and OF COURSE I will help them. Doesn't the Lord feel the same way? Because, let's me honest, I've been having the emotional equivalent of a tantrum over here...
My husband sweetly took them with him tonight. I have the house to myself, and I've been waffling a bit with how to spend my time. I think I know now. It's time to pray.
